perseverance

Six Weeks until TC Marathon

Whenever I wake up in the morning, so does my dog Annie. She sleeps on a chair near the foot of our bed, but as soon as she hears me stirring she is up too. Her hope is that I am moving towards her food bowl.

Annie is right behind me, following me out of the bedroom, even on early mornings, like at 4:30 a.m., when I am getting ready for a run. This is hours before her regular breakfast, but she can’t tell time. She just knows she loves food, and I am often the one to give it to her. Annie follows me from the bathroom to the kitchen as I get ready to run, or sometime she sits on the couch and moves her head along with my pacing. She isn’t entirely awake, and she fights to keep her head up and eyes open. Annie is like a little kid who insists she isn’t sleepy but then is out three minutes later.

Rarely do I ever feed Annie at this time. To be honest, I am more concerned with getting a run in than her, but often, as soon as I finish, I feed her and take her for a walk. Annie should know this. It’s what we do most mornings, but still she is up with me, waiting for that treat.

On Sunday, I woke up early to eat before my long run, and there was a bit of bagel I couldn’t finish. I left it on the table, thinking I might eat it, but as I was getting ready to leave the house, decided, I didn’t want it after all. Then I looked at Annie, with her drooping eyes, and threw her the bit slathered in peanut butter.

She was so happy. Annie took three big bites and it was gone. Her persistence had finally paid off.

My dog inspired me, and as I was going out on my daunting run, I thought about how sometimes we just have to keep showing up. We may not always get the reward, but if we are consistent and we put in the effort and work, that tiny bit of bagel will eventually come to us.

My 18-mile long run was awful. I started to beat myself up after two miles, and because I kept saying “this is garbage” enough times, a trashy run manifested itself. My nutrition and sodium intake were askew, and I ended up severely dehydrated. I felt terrible during and after, and nearly quit four different times, but thanks to some of my neighborhood running friends, I finished.

Marathon training isn’t about hitting all the right paces, how many miles you can average, or even hitting that goal. It’s about showing up, for both the good and bad days, and know they are both necessary in growing you as a runner. That 18-miler was far from reassuring, but I still showed up. And, if I keep doing that, I will get my reward.

Miles: 50.5

Goals: Ramp up mileage.

Monday: Easy Run – 10.5 – Ran to the running store where I work (6.5 miles) for a group run with Brooks (4 miles). A few of my friends showed up, and it was a really nice evening of running.

Tuesday: Track Workout – 6 – Mile repeats on .10 track. Do not ever do this. You will die of boredom.

Wednesday: Rest

Thursday: Tempo – 8 – Four miles at tempo felt amazing. I hit most of my desired paces thanks to some help from the neighborhood running group.

Friday: Run Commute – 4 – Listened to TSwift as I jogged through the city.

Saturday: Easy Run – 4 – Nothing special, just getting in the mileage.

Sunday: Long Run – 18 – This was rough. My nutrition plan isn’t working anymore, so I am going to try a few different things this week. Also, I need more positive self talk. Negative stuff has got to go.

Next week’s goal: The next three weeks are going to be insane not only because I am ramping up before the taper but I also start my second year of graduate school today. I’ve got my life planned out, hour by hour, for most of September, but I’ve had to make some training adjustments. I was hoping to get a 20-miler in this week, but that won’t happen with my schedule. This week’s goal is to stay consistent with mileage, have a shorter long run, and put in some quality workouts

It Hurts

Image result for running hurts quotes

Often, when you are running, you experience pain. Sometimes it’s sharp,
maybe in your knee or calf. The body likely needs rest, stretching, or
examination by a doctor. That’s the kind of hurt that shouldn’t be ignored nor one you should push through.

There is another kind of pain, though. It’s achier, and it lingers. It is
harder to find the source of this ailment, meaning there is no quick fix. All
you can do is keep going and hope to forget about it long enough that it dissipates.

Running hurts. That is a fact. Yes, there are times when we are injured, but
there are also times when your body is just going to hurt. This is a kind of
pain that we all experience, no matter how long we’ve been running or how fast we are. We have an off day, our calves are tight, or we ate something that our stomachs don’t agree with.

It’s important part to know what is injured pain and what is just running
pain. A few years ago, on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I went out for a run to shake my legs out from a Turkey Trot. I noticed pain in my right hip, a sensation that I knew almost immediately was more than wear on the body. Of course, I was in denial about it and didn’t get it check out for months later, but I could tell it was the type of hurt that would likely need medical attention. Eventually, I learned that it was a labral tear, and I had to have surgery to repair it.

Today, though, I had some pain in my left glute. This was different that my hip pain. It was more of a soreness. I knew that I just kept going, the issue would likely work itself out and I would feel better. Five miles later, the pain was lingering but definitely better. Some active foam rolling and I should be good.

We have these kinds of pains in life as well. Hurt that is deep and
unrelenting, that has followed us from year to year, that needs to be addressed with therapy and inner self-work before one can heal. And, hurt that is part of life’s normal ups and downs.

Right now, I am in graduate school. Something is always due, and I doubt if
I am actually retaining enough information to be a competent counselor. Also, money is tight. I left a good paying job with benefits to pursue my master’s, and while I stopped earning a steady income, the world didn’t stop demanding money from me. I work two jobs to pay my bills, which is barely enough and leaves me little time to do that homework let alone have a social life. These days can be really hard, and the finish line is so far from my peripheral that I am not entirely sure it is there. However, this is part of the process. Graduate school is not easy, and nearly everyone I know who has done it has had some excruciating days. But, this hurt is part of the process, and it’s different from the one a year ago when I was extremely unhappy in my career and knew I needed to change. That unhappiness needed to be addressed, which is why I quit my job and enrolled in school. This one, though, needs to be endured by acknowledging it, learning from it, and continuing on.

It’s not always easy to understand the differences in pain, in life or
running, and sometimes we’ll keep going when we shouldn’t or quit before we should. Those aren’t mistakes, rather lessons to help us better understand ourselves. (Note: Be very careful about continuing on when you are experiencing emotional or physical pain. It’s OK to consult a professional while deciding to continue, and remember your health should be the number one priority.) When something is really wrong, quitting or stopping is necessary, but it can also feel like an out when you are experiencing the just because pain. It’s tempting, for sure, but it might not be the right answer. It’s up to you to determine what is best.

Enduring pain, when it is the just because kind, is part of the process. Nothing with great accomplishment is easy, and so we must put up
with the trials to get to the finish line. However, that strength is in us. You
can’t ignore the pain, but you can not dwell on it. Rather, find that strength
and rise above it. Eventually it will disappear, you’ll see that finish line,
and overcoming the hurt will be one of the highlights.